who's afraid of a little thai boxing?

after spending our first day in bangkok, we had decided that at some point we wanted to give a thai boxing match a go, if for nothing else than the spectacle of it. we had gone to a soccer game when we were in mexico city, and it was a memorable experience, mostly because it gave us the rare opportunity to go somewhere with few other tourists and experience an event as fundamentally mexican as we could hope for. we had hopes of the same with thai boxing, which has become hugely popular in thailand as of late, since they apparently had a gold-medal boxer in the sydney olympics.

after our day of air-conditioned consumption at the mall, we did a bit of research to figure out where the matches are and when. it soon became apparent that the timing probably wasn't right to end up there that evening, but brendan got the details down so that we were able to get to a match last night. i did my research too -- i read the two paragraphs the rough guide has to offer on the subject. i was happy to have done so, since they made it sound as though it is a good idea to go into a night of boxing prepared. the book described how those less-than-obsessed spectators might be well-served to show up for the evening on the later side, since there are many matches in a given evening so the fighting can end up feeling endless if you're not totally invested in the sport. they also kindly warn their readership about the violence of it. they indicate that most knock-outs come from a kick to the head. i don't know much about boxing, but i was pretty sure this is not standard operating procedure in the U.S. of A. so i was glad they told me. they also point out that, though violent, it is far more palatable now that boxing gloves are mandated. before the 1960s or so, there was no such requirement. "what would one wear on one's hands in a boxing match, if not boxing gloves?" you might wonder. well! it seems that one would wrap his hands in hemp, which has been laced with shards of glass for added effect. a kick to the head suddenly seemed like nothing, compared to a face bloody and lacerated by bits of broken bottle implanted in the hand-wrapping of one's opponent. an evening of modern-day thai boxing was fixing to be a walk in the park!

so we get a cab to the arena and are quickly sweet-talked by a young man charged with selling the most expensive tickets to unsuspecting tourists. the tickets were obscenely priced -- we assume that thais pay the ticket prices because they get to bet on the fights (foreigners don't) so it is something of an investment -- the nosebleed seats were $25 a pop, and ringside was $50... the latter is roughly equivalent to the cost of two nights' stay at our relatively swanky hotel. our suave salesman was quick to point out that if we got the nosebleed seats (which was our leaning) we would be better off watching the fight on TV, since we wouldn't be able to see anything anyway. brendan decides that he will cough up the difference for an evening spent ringside. so we soon find ourselves in the middle of the front row, surrounded almost exclusively other tourists (so much for that thai cultural experience we were after) who had been similarly duped. and those nosebleed seats? though the building looked deceptively grandiose from the outside, once inside this place was not a stadium. the folks (mostly thai) way up there in the nosebleed section were probably10-20 yards from the ring, tops. saying that they would be better off watching on TV was a stretch to say the least. regardless, we settled in next to our thai neighbor, who was at his first match and was betting with a vengeance. got ourselves our $2 beers (also highway robbery, and i was expecting them to be free after spending $90 on the tickets... i got the "lady" price of $40 instead of the gentleman's fare of $50) and prepared ourselves for the first bout. it looked like we would be there with the most devoted spectators for the whole evening, since we found ourselves seated 30 minutes before the first fight, and would likely stay through the bitter end, since the fights were said to get better and better as the night progressed.

we were looking over the program, and noticed that most of the fighters were in a ridiculously light weight class. there were maybe 7 or 8 matches total, and about half of the fighters were in the 40kg weight class. i wasn't sure what i weighed in kilograms, but i knew that 80kg was quite a bit less than me as i started to wonder what we were in for. then i noticed that the weights were also listed in lbs -- sure enough, half of the fighters were in a 100 lbs. weight class, with a couple of others at 105 lbs. and 113 lbs. and the heavyweights of the evening weighing in at 155 lbs. i started to wonder aloud about grown men who weigh 100 pounds or less. it seemed almost impossible to imagine, even in a country where brendan and i are comparatively statuesque.

and you know what? it *is* impossible. because the boxers were not men at all. they were CHILDREN. how did that little factoid get lost in the shuffle by the folks at rough guide? they are certain to prepare you for the level of violence, but find it insignificant to mention that this brutal violence is between boys for whom puberty is a far off reality. i couldn't believe my eyes as the first fighters came into the ring. i would guess the boy in the corner closest to us was 10 years old, and that's probably me grasping optimistically at straws given my upbringing in a society where child labor is illegal. and so it went. we spent 2.5 hours watching little boys beat on each other. there was one match (the 155 pounders) where there was some evidence of body hair, which was a relief. but otherwise it was tiny, innocent-faced school boys doing their best to punch and kick the shit out of each other. the upside is that when you have less than 100 pounds to put behind your kicks and punches, it can only get so brutal. we only saw one knock-out the whole night and i think it was in the match-up of the hefty 113 pound fellas.

i can now check "watch a thai boxing match" off of my list of things to do in my life and carry on with my new mission of informing any other potential inexperienced spectators that it's 4th-graders that they will be watching should they decide to go. it was certainly an interesting way to spend an evening, but i (obviously) have yet to fully recover.

today is our last day in bangkok. it will be a relaxed one, since we spent a sweltering day yesterday visiting the grand palace, which houses the indescribably revered emerald buddha, and wat pho, which houses the indescribably huge reclining buddha. we'll pick up our tickets for our 10-hour journey south by train to khao lak tomorrow. we are sticking with our original plan and hoping - HOPING - for weather that cooperates. we've struggled to find any sort of reliable weather report for our specific destination, but we're crossing our fingers for a big karmic payoff given all of the buddha visits we have been making.